Is it bad?

That I wanted you so badly to get hurt, so that you would come back to me. So that I could be the one to cheer you up, so that I knew you needed me? I hate it when people are happy. I want to tear down that happiness and rebuild it for them. I know this is stupid and probably really vane, but, I want to be able to feel needed. I want someone to want me, you know? I want to be able to feel that love and compassion from someone. But, I feel like I am unworthy of it. I’m nothing. 

I’m not allowed to even think about it or voice my opinions on it. I’m supposed to be the confident one. I’m not allowed to let anything get to me. I’m supposed to always be the one that is there for anyone else, because “I’m just one call away.” But when I need someone. When I need a pep talk. Fuck it, you’re on your own. Sorry to throw that back in your face for you.