January 2012
1 post
lol I got a boyfriend...so much for going lesbian...
December 2011
2 posts
Fuck it. I'm going lesbian. That is all.
People are the forefront to why I hate this world and wouldn’t mind killing myself. To each his own but seriously, the hypocrisy in this world pisses me off. I’m trying to stop my own hypocrisy but seriously other people and their bipolar asses need to fucking take a god damn chill pill before I give them my antidote, a foot up the ass.
October 2011
3 posts
holy shit...holy SHIZNETS....
Guess…who has gots a boyfriend :P
…….
me…
yes…
no, he’s not ugly….
Edit: we aren’t dating any more…. Oh well…
Maybe Corey was right…maybe life is telling me that I should be a lesbian… But then again, those relationships never work out either…. Maybe it’s me? I don’t understand what I do to bring on this hurt and pain… Maybe it’s my fate to be alone and have people not love me any more than a friend. I generally give people their space. Maybe that’s...
life sucks....
August 2011
17 posts
Yep. Still being ignored...
but what did I do?
Being Optimistic is for quitters.
I do not want to quit being depressed.
That would be…
too good.
Being ignored by the only person you really want...
IT’S AN AWESOME FEELING :D
Holy shit…I can’t figure out my words…or how to spell…them? so awesome… love this feeling.
Dude, I am drunk...
And it’s fucking…awesome.
okay...
so my post didn’t really post from before due to internet problems…
figures…
anyways,
I think I have a problem.
Figures.
It’d would of course be raining…
New Theme song :
In The End - Linkin Park
I think…I died a little inside.
MDMA which is Ecstasy
MDMA can produce confusion, depression, sleep problems, drug craving, and severe anxiety. These problems can occur soon after taking the drug or, sometimes, even days or weeks after taking MDMA.
What the fuck? You already have depression, sleep problems and severe anxiety…and you go and fucking take this drug.
Why?
WHY?
Here’s to everyone in this fucking world.
I’m done.
Fuck anyone who ever asks for advice from me.
Fuck anyone who makes others feel like shit.
I’ll just be a loner.
That’s the way to go.
Fuck all of you.
I love not being able to do anything, it makes me feel even more like shit.
yet….they will never know.
Shhh…it’s our secret ;)
watching The Nightmare Before Christmas for the...
He makes me happy :) hehehe :D well…happier than I usually am :D
Oh!
And by the fucking way….
NO ONE EVER FUCKING LISTENS TO ME!
I don’t talk, just to hear my own voice.
I hate my voice…
I am fucking done.
Do you people hear me fucking now? I can’t swear at you to your face, because I’d be labeled a cunt and a bitch…but you call me that anyways?
You say I’m rude because I asked, “Is that all?”
I get to the football field and within three mother fucking seconds you think you have the right to call me a cunt? Well you know what? I’m done with you people.
...
I want to….cut really badly, since a few days ago. I don’t know what’s going on in my head that’s making me want to do this.
I just…hm…want to rip open my flesh and watch the blood ooze out with some indication that my heart is still in fact beating.
July 2011
2 posts
Nothing but a play thing.
I’m nothing but a play thing, Nothing but a toy. I don’t have feelings, I’m just a lifeless doll. Don’t worry about me, I’ll do as you say. I have no where to be, I’ve got nothing to do. I’ll sit here waiting, I don’t care if you’re mean. I’ll always be yours, Hit me a little more. I don’t feel pain. Pain means you’re...
Fuck this.
No one ever truly means they love someone if they can get another girlfriend in a fucking week and half time. I’m never gonna believe another “I love you” from any one, every again.
Hats off to you, Sam.
My heart is shattered, and I don’t think I can repair it this time.
June 2011
5 posts
Heart-strings
Do you have fun playing with my heart strings? Do you have fun making my mind spin? All I’m doing is mistrusting, I end up second guessing. Why must this always happen? I’ve got to let you go now Before I fall too hard now And never get up again. I need to brush the dirt off my knees “Protect myself” will be my only need Baby, forget you, It’s all about me now I...
Letting myself be
“Letting myself be who I am”, Never really understood that. How do find out one thing, When I like so many others? They say not to follow the crowd, But there are so many, I get lost so easy. Why can’t I just have a map, And not have to figure this out? Although they say it’s the journey, Not the end goal. My mind is just in a blur, ‘Cause I need to know now. Who...
Untitled.
There is nothing but destruction, In this thing we call life. All we are here for is reproduction, Which only amounts to a strife. Can do nothing but go with the flow, Don’t trust, only discuss. Doesn’t matter if end up above or below, So don’t even make a fuss.
Sleepless nights
Sleepless are these nights to wonder,
Gone and lived unbroken in the past,
Never reflecting on actions done.
The thoughts creep into the mind
with the intent of staying.
Discover the meaning
and push them away,
before its too late.
Sleepless nights is all
that will be left.
Is it bad?
That I wanted you so badly to get hurt, so that you would come back to me. So that I could be the one to cheer you up, so that I knew you needed me? I hate it when people are happy. I want to tear down that happiness and rebuild it for them. I know this is stupid and probably really vane, but, I want to be able to feel needed. I want someone to want me, you know? I want to be able to feel that...
April 2011
4 posts
It's okay.
I don’t expect much from you anymore. I’ll just be on my own, don’t need anyone. If you don’t notice what you are missing, then you’ll never miss it.
The song that keeps repeating over and over in my head is, “Somebody to love.” I want someone to be able to help me open my heart to others instead of having to post all my feelings on this blog, where no one will see them.
Fuck it.
One cut. Two cut. Three cut. Four.
How many more can we count,
before the blood spills all out?
Five Cut. Six Cut. Seven cut. Eight.
Yelling and screaming. How many more,
before they separate?
9 cut. 10 cut. 11 cut. 12.
Oh dear, that one cut a little deep.
Best be careful with that knife.
Want to hear what that voice in the back of my...
“Shut up. Don’t even think about you. Just 20 more pounds and you will be perfect. Do you think anyone will like you, when you look like that? You’re just a disgusting slob. Oh, someone called you pretty? Shit, there must be something wrong with thier eyes. Someone said your glasses looked good on you? You wouldn’t need them if you weren’t blind as a bat. You have so...